Too Good To Refuse was composed at a time when I was pretty much on the bare bones of my backside and driving a very aged (but still trusty) Ford station wagon. As luck would have it, I also happened to be teaching music at an elite kindergarten. One day, one of the mums (and I must clarify here that most of the mums were absolutely lovely) as she alighted elegantly from her Mercedes convertible, made a rather tactless comment about my chosen mode of transport. This, together with the fascinating social habits of many of these ladies, inspired this little piece of satire. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I did writing it!
(apologies for no vocals on this track - I'm working on it and hope to put a vocal sample out soon)
Jo Kotchie - Too Good to Refuse - Instrumental Version (click button to play)
Well hello! Fancy seeing you here
- it's been so
long
Oh, how sad - I see you're still driving that tired
old bomb
I'm doing so well - can't you see? can't you tell?
I've got friends I haven't yet used
But I'm going to make you an offer too good to
refuse!
I'm going to take you to lunch
in my favourite little cafe
A little expensive but very exclusive
It's my treat today
A salad I think - Pellegrino to drink
(We don't want to add to your hips)
Then I'll tell you about my collagen man - he can help you plump up your
lips
Now, tell me - what does your
husband do
A salesman? Oh..... well that's nice
Mine of course is in business
Rakes in the money and hasn't a vice
(well maybe a few) but let's talk about you
After all, it's been quite a while
I've just got to tell you - that dress is quite sweet
But it's a bit out of style
Let me introduce you to my
favourite couturier
And I know a lovely young man who can style your hair and cover your grey
You could look just like me - nipped and tucked to a tee
It's the only way to succeed
And as you can see I have made it -
I'm very successful indeed!
I have a lovely big mansion
And children who do as they're told
And lots of central heating
To drive away the cold
Aerobics each day keeps the flabbies away
And bulimia keeps me so thin
It's a small price to pay so my husband won't stray
And to fit with the crowd I move in
Oh - don't tell me you're
leaving
We haven't really talked about you
It's been surprisingly pleasant to chat - I can't believe how the time flew!
If you should aspire to climb ever higher - here,
Take my card and just give me a call
And I'll show you what the good life's all about
We'll do lunch and have us a ball!
Music and Lyrics Copyright © 1999 Jocelyn E Kotchie